She is clothed with Strength and Dignity

It really is amazing how we can talk ourselves into anything, or at least allow ourselves to be talked into anything. I recently started reading a new Beth Moore book, so needless to say, it’s entertaining and heartwarming and makes me feel like she and I are girlfriends sitting down for a chat. A chat about insecurity…. Yikes!

I like to pretend that I’m super confident in the talents and abilities that God has given me even though I have always struggled with confidence over other things like physical appearance. And then she said “Insecurity’s best cover is perfectionism. That’s where it becomes an art form”… and I saw myself defined in that statement.

I’ve talked myself into a standard of perfectionism that is impossible for anyone to meet. For example, just today I worked 10 ½ hours in the office and then came home with a stack of work to do. No one told me that I must take work home, and I don’t enjoy working at home, I just did it. I could say that I did so because I’m a natural overachiever, or I’m just that good at my job; but according to Beth’s definition it’s most likely rooted not in confidence but rather in insecurity. Then I came home and just before making dinner for myself I decided to step on the scale, and insecurity hit the roof.

Right before I lapsed into all out self-loathing I sat myself down for a good kick in the pants. I’ve convinced myself to accept a lie that says my worth is based on how I look/perform/etc. I’ve talked myself into it and I have let myself believe it too long.

Obviously I’m not writing a 10 easy steps to overcoming insecurity book just yet (this kick in the pants reminder for myself is happening as I’m writing this) but I’m recognizing in myself the same thing that I would fight kicking and screaming if I saw it attacking my sisters or girlfriends. Far too often I do see them struggle with it, and it makes me furious! If I feel that strongly defensive of their security, how can I think that my Heavenly Father feels less for mine?

So now the goal is not to do more, weigh less, and make everyone around me ask “how does she do it all?” as I save the world with a smile on my face. It is to remember and to really understand deep down that the statement “She is clothed with strength and dignity” found in Proverbs 31 is not a rave review of some really awesome chick thousands of years ago, but it’s a promise that my Dad has made for me because I’m His daughter and He loves me.

She is clothed with STRENGTH and DIGNITY.